Every advertiser has wrestled with the beast of brand strategy at one point or the other. You can even make a whole career out of it if you put your mind to it. But what exactly is this bizarre animal? How does it all work? How exactly do we create a brand?
I decided to find out.
The truth, it turns out, is stranger than fiction.
My investigations revealed that at the core of the pseudoscience that is branding, lies the mysterious ‘branding process’.
This process is shaped and hammered by the almighty Brand Tools: a set of magical tools that promise to transform even the most flaccid brand into an irresistible hurricane of brand potency.
We’ve all heard about them. We’ve all tried to use them. But let’s face it, you might as well be using a magic crystal ball to find your answers. The tools are all fine in theory but they don’t translate particularly well into the real world.
Therefore to give a clearer picture of how the branding process really works, I have created my own set of tools to depict what really goes on in the branding process.
Ladies and gents, I give you: The Real Brand Tools.
OBI – Overbearing Brand Idiot
The first of the tools, there is one in every meeting. Whether it’s from the agency or the client side, this individual knows all the clichés but none of the science behind branding.
Often loud and belligerent, the power and authority this figure holds is usually inversely proportional to their capability.
Nevertheless, the OBI is integral to the branding process. It could not function without them.
More often than not, the OBI is the supreme decision-making authority when it comes to brand direction. This simple fact makes the OBI arguably the most powerful weapon in the branding arsenal.
However, it’s a weapon that seldom hits its intended mark.
ToBI – Tampered Overview Banishes Inconsistencies
There is always a strong element of guesswork when it comes to strategizing. The natural outcome of this is inconsistencies and contradictions in the brand framework. But because of the tremendous leeway the branding process affords, the ToBI can be applied to ‘tweak’ the framework to fit any conclusion desired.
The ultimate example of reverse engineering, the entire process can be revised, top to bottom, to fit any preconceived conclusions/insights. This manifests in an impeccable brand overview which cannot be challenged.
In the words of Phillip Johnson-Laird, “A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data.”
OBI WAN KENOBI – Obnoxious Brand Illusion Washes Away Negatives / Knowledge and Experience are Nullified Over Bizarre Insight
The imprecision and blindness inherent in the branding process ensures that any and all aspects of a strategy are open to debate. The OBI WAN KENOBI was evolved for just such a situation.
This is where the OBI bullies the rest of the team into accepting their vision of the strategy. The OBI creates an idealistic and overly-optimistic image of the brand that is typically far-removed from reality. Seeing the brand through rose-colored glasses, the OBI is so deeply immersed in the brand illusion that they can see no flaws in the strategy.
Though the team may have more knowledgeable and experienced members, their voices go unheeded and they are force-fed an ill-conceived and off-target grand insight that has little relevance to the brand or its positioning.
The OBI WAN KENOBI, therefore, is the ultimate approval tool. It squashes any voices of dissent and ensures unanimous acceptance of the results of the branding process.
These tools, when used in sequence, constitute the real events and processes that occur in the branding process.
When allegedly intelligent people insist on playing with fire, the rest of us outcasts do what we always do.
Just kick back with a cup of coffee and watch the fireworks.
Tags: advertising, brand tools, branding
